When your bladder is at maximum capacity is usually when it’s the most inopportune time to actually go to the bathroom. Sometimes it’s because the only bathroom available is disgusting. Sometimes there is no bathroom at all. If you lack a penis, then your choices are to hold it or find a place to squat (and hope you don’t end up with wet shoes). Now you have a third option – you can pee while standing up!
Category Archives: cooties & paranoia
I am now an impulse shopper. I used to try being patient, but I learned that if I didn’t buy something right away, I would obsess about it and even visit it online or in the store and then eventually give in and buy it. That means the time between when I initially wanted to buy it and when I finally bought it was just time wasted when I could have been enjoying what I wanted. Even worse, sometimes I tried to talk myself out of it for so long that by the time I decided to buy it, the size or color I wanted was no longer available. This is my explanation for why, only four short days after my previous post, I ordered a FUMI purse hook/bracelet from Je’Marie. I bought the Confident (black snakeskin pattern):
I admit that I am a germophobe. I’m not to the point where I walk around wearing a hospital mask and gloves all day, but it grosses me out when I see people do things like touch the bottom of their shoes and then touch other stuff without washing their hands. It makes me imagine all the gross things they have walked on (dirt, dog crap, and lord knows what else) and are now spreading all over their staplers and keyboards. Blech!
In that vein, I really do not get how women can put their purses on the ground and then on their car seats, bedspreads, laps, or kitchen counters. I’ve seen women put their purses on the floor in the most disgusting places. Is the floor of a bar or the bathroom at Target something you want to lick or lie on? If not, why would you put your purse on those surfaces and then put that same purse, which now has gross cooties, on your bed? Ewwww!
When I was younger, back before identity theft was cool, my mom was already on top of things. She tore our address off any junk mail and put it in a basket near the fireplace. When the basket was full, she would light a fire and let us burn the contents. My sister and I thought it was so fun to be allowed to set things on fire. I was already a closet pyromaniac, but this was mom-approved burning!
Years later, shredders became readily available so my mom switched from fire to shredding. A friend of mine used to use his leftover shredding as packing material for my birthday presents. I was surprised at how much I could still read on the shredded pieces of paper, but I thought hey, he must trust me not to do anything shady with his personal information.
If you’re like me, then you’re probably tired of hearing about people go on and on about anti-bacterial products. I’m the kind of germaphobe who doesn’t touch the bottom of her shoes with her bare hands, and even I’m sick of every product out there being advertised as anti-bacterial.
During the 90s, I totally bought into that “must kill bacteria” mentality because the marketing people were smart enough to use pretty packaging and appealing scents. In other words, I had tons of that Bath & Body Works anti-bacterial hand sanitizer. I had the spray, the gel, and the soap. Once I became a grown-up and no longer felt obligated to smell like artificial fruit, I phased out most of my B&BW products. The main exception to this was the Just for Kids anti-bacterial foaming hand soap in Great Grapelicious because it combined two really awesome things: foaming soap and the smell of grape Bubblicious gum (or was it Hubba Bubba?).